I only have so much willpower, Helen, " he whispered. "And since you apparently sleep in the most ridiculously transparent tank top I've ever seen, I'm going to have to ask you to get under the covers before I do something stupid.
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Josephine Angelini
I strive for perfection - I settle for satisfaction
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Carroll Bryant
The better organized the state, the duller its humanity.
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David Mitchell
Quest assignments are never wrong.
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Page Wisher
I'm infatuated with you, I cannot deny it. Physically speaking, you're a very attractive man. But I don't like you, the vast majority of the time. So far as I can gather, you behave abominably in public and are only marginally better in private. I...
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Tessa Dare
More Quotes By Demetri Martin
I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital.
Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live"... or "It's a boy!
I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot...
THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the police sketch artist. This is one of the rare instances where two people can do one self-portrait.
It is illegal to yell “fire” in a crowded theater. If there is a fire, please yell something else instead, like “Flames! ” or “Smoke maker! ” or “Bad hot!
